The internal battle is real.

I have a constant struggle over what is or isn’t the “right” path to take with Westynn. Do we cater to her special needs? Do we act as if she has none and hold her to the same standards as a typically developing child? How much do we give in, how much do we push her forward? This type of question plays out in my head all day but ESPECIALLY if we even think of going out in public.

She dislikes going out and about. She doesn’t have to be able to speak for me to know that. Her body language tells me. Crying, rocking, hitting, gritting her teeth… Her happy place is her home, specifically her bedroom, where she spends the majority of her days. But how healthy is that, to just allow her to spend an unlimited amount of time alone in her room with little to no interaction? Wouldn’t it be better to force her to go out and see new places, meet new people, try new activities? To teach her that sometimes in life you just have to do things you don’t want to, and that maybe just maaaaaaybe she will find something new she likes? (Haha right?!) Then there’s the topic of inclusion and teaching all of those people you encounter about how to act or not act around anyone a little “different”. Teaching them about people with special needs, and that they deserve to be included in all activities… (but Westynn doesn’t like activities, and doesn’t really want to be included in them at all, so that plan backfires everytime). Inclusion is another subject that I can get lost down a rabbit hole on… so let’s save that for another time.

Then comes the thought of, well, how much am I suppose to miss out on and how much does my family have to miss out on just because Westynn doesn’t like it? For instance… the grocery store. Trick-or-Treating on Halloween. Swimming lessons. A restaurant. A movie. Garage Sales. The zoo. The play room at the mall. The fair. Parades. Seeing Santa. Getting a Christmas Tree. CHURCH! The list is endless. I haven’t come up with the answer for my question yet. And I don’t know that I will ever be satisfied with one. My mind changes with each event that we come across. So… we will just keep taking it one day at a time, sweet Jesus!