You want to know what bothers me about being a special needs parent?

Nothing.

(For the most part)

I think I’m pretty laid back in the world of special needs parenting. You want to ask about Westynn, go ahead. You want to pretend like nothing is different, go ahead. You use the R word, doesn’t offend me. You have suggestions, throw em at me. You want to tell me why you think she is normal, no problem. You’re uncomfortable around her, that’s okay. Can’t get enough of her, that’s cool too. You think I’m abusing her and want to call CPS, that would be annoying but whatever, they won’t find anything. People are going to do what they want, think what they want, say what they want. I’d say 98% of the time it all just rolls off my back.

I used to panic over her future, OUR future. Will she ever drive, get married, have children, MOVE OUT? I can’t see into the future, but I’m guessing the answer to all of those things is a big negative ghost rider. But lately I find I just don’t stress over that as much anymore. (With a little help from my friend Jesus and Zoloft!) We just make sure we have a solid financial plan, that we love her endlessly, love each other endlessly, and everything else will work itself out.

Ultimately, I guess I just trust my Heavenly Father. He has given me such a peace that I didn’t know existed. (And Zoloft!) People say they don’t know how I do it. Infertility, Anxiety, Raising Westynn, losing my father, watching my mother battle cancer, and everything in between. Well, here’s my answer folks. I’m not doing it. HE IS DOING IT. People say “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” I’m here to tell you, oh yes He will! But He won’t give you more than HE can handle. I don’t want to discredit my life by any means. This life is HARD. But really, whose life isn’t? Everyone just fights different battles. I DONT KNOW HOW ANYONE DOES IT WITHOUT THE LORD. I surely couldn’t.

Psalm 29:11 – The Lord gives His people strength and blesses them with peace.

John 16:33 – “…in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Exodus 14:14 – The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

I’ve got the peace that passes understanding down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart!

As a parent what are some of the most important things you want for and from your children? Health? Success? Stability? To be loved? To be able to love back?

Now, I know there are a multitude of ways to express love. But imagine never getting to actually hear your child tell you they love you. This was my reality.

Until yesterday.

Westynn hears us say “I love you!” all day long but doesn’t acknowledge it much. So I decided I would start trying to teach her the ASL (American Sign Language) sign for it. Westynn has very limited fine motor skills and it is hard for her to do anything very detailed with her fingers, such as doing signs correctly. Most of her sign language is modified to fit the motions she can easily make. She typically uses an open hand, a closed fist, or one pointer finger. I knew “I love you” was going to be a long shot. I worked for a couple of days on it but then forgot about it, as I do with most things these days. I want to specify, I don’t “give up” on things, I just forget that I’m doing them is all! haha! Mom brain is a real thing in this house.

WELL… yesterday while at Grammys house I said “I love you” to Westynn. All of the sudden she pulled her fist up, stared at it for a minute then started using her other hand to manipulate her fingers into the sign for “I love you”!!!! I don’t think I’ve ever been so in awe of her and how smart and resourceful and AMAZING she is!! The only other time I remember feeling such joy in this journey is the day she said “Mama”. (Which she has currently lost the ability to do, but we are working on getting some vocalizing back with more therapy!)

Now I can tell my sweet girl I love her AND SHE CAN TELL ME BACK!!

So, we have accomplished one more thing in the great parental check off list. 🤟🏼🤟🏼🤟🏼 Keep them coming baby!

To see the full video follow Watching Westynn on Facebook and Instagram!